Backstory Blues

Last year I received this very thoughtful rejection letter from literary agent Joy Azmitia of Russel & Volkening after her partial ms request of Arrow of the Sunbird:

Dear Austin,
Thanks for letting me read some of your YA novel ARROW OF THE SUNBIRD. It has some interesting plot points, such as the lack of water in the country, the old kings who have explored the ‘outer ledge’ and beyond but now refuse to let anyone else explore further, and the mysterious search for the sunbird who will supposedly save the country. I see a lot of potential here but I think the pace is hampering the narrative somewhat. As a reader, I keep getting lost between all of the names and new information that’s being thrown at me all at once. I think it might help if you slowed things down and give the novel a chance to grow on the reader. Perhaps you should slowly introduce the characters and the Solace Hunt, and what it means to the country and it’s [sic] people, before adding in the country’s plight and the intrigue with the neighboring kingdoms.

A good example of a YA that might give you a feel as to how to handle the narrative pace would be THE HUNGER GAMES by Suzanne Collins. It is quite different in style to your work but it is an all around excellent book. What is most notable about it is the way the author introduces a new world and new ideas without losing the reader or talking down to the audience, a mistake many first time YA/children’s authors make. Fortunately, you don’t have to worry about the latter as your novel doesn’t ‘talk down’ to the reader, it’s the pace that needs some reworking.

I am sorry not to be able to offer representation at this time but I wish you the best of luck with your work.

Best regards,
Joy Azmitia

First off: Wow!  What a neat (and helpful) rejection letter!  I’m encouraged greatly by the time that was put into this response.  Thank you, Joy!

More importantly:  I get it (now).  There has to be a balance — allowing the reader to enter the story without being overwhelmed, while still getting the story going right away.  That’s hard.  It’s also absolutely critical to nail.  I’ve started a complete rewrite which basically begins with what used to be chapter 3.  Letting all that good Chapter 1 and 2 stuff go as “pre-writing” feels akin to drowning my own children, but with hindsight,  I’m seeing that it’s what I need to do.